Anyone on stage or behind a bar is fifty percent better looking.
Rule 8
When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.
Rule 4
Change your toast at least once a month.
Rule 7
Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.
Rule 45
It's okay to drink alone.
Rule 34
If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least 2 cans before you start drinking the imported beer in the fridge.
Rule 25
It is only permissible to shout 'woo-hoo!' if you are doing a shot with four or more people.
Rule 6
Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
Rule 13
If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message.
Rule 69
If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
Rule 22
Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing - urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.
Rule 31
If you have been roommates with someone more than six months, you may drink all their beer, even if it's hidden, as long as you leave them one.
Rule 1
If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during Happy Hour.
Rule 27
Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You'll be surprised how well it works.
Rule 81
If you're going to drink on the job, drink vodka. It's the no-tell liquor.
