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INN's Rules of Drinking
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Rule 20
Drink one girly drink in public, and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.
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Rule 9
Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile.
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Rule 55
If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
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Rule 58
Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is hilarious.
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Rule 46
After three drinks, you will forget a woman's name two seconds after she tells you. The rest of the night you will call her "baby" or "darling".
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Rule 61
Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is the equivalent of voluntarily putting your head on a chopping block.
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Rule 86
You will forget everyone one of these rules by your fifth drink.
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Rule 30
Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.
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Rule 64
The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers.
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Rule 36
If you ever feel depressed, get out a bartender's guide and browse thru all the drinks you've never tried.
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Rule 14
If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.
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Rule 83
The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.
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Rule 5
Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.
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Rule 69
If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
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Rule 7
Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.
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